The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness. – Lamentations 3:22–23
I was raised Methodist as a young child, although I’m not sure much of anything about that upbringing sunk in or stuck with me. I didn’t like church, didn’t want to be there, and didn’t remember any of it afterward. Then I went for many years without darkening any church doorway. However, looking back now, I’m very grateful that my mom “dragged” me to church.
I didn’t have any continued association with religion, faith, or church from those early years through college and beyond. In high school and college, I pursued science actively and loved math, physics, astronomy, and cosmology—the study of the universe and its origins amazed me—and I attended university for physics (and thankfully graduated!). But I eventually lost interest in cosmology, as I started to realize that science would never be able to answer with 100 percent certainty where the universe came from and how it all came about. It was just theory after theory after theory. I didn’t realize it then, but I was actually right for coming to that realization—but for a very different reason. The reason is that science is not looking in the right area—the Bible has the answers, not man. Until science looks there, it will simply be one theory of man after another in an endless parade of futility and wild speculation.
I continued living without any religion or God for about thirteen years. I just did what the world did: I got married, found a good job, and worked hard. I considered myself to be a “good person” and not “as bad as others.” I didn’t do drugs or steal (much) and was (generally) honest (or so I thought). I believe that religion and God and all that spiritual stuff was utter rubbish and nonsense. Having a scientific mind, I was all about logic and factual proofs based on evidence.
Then, around age 35, I got divorced; that was a difficult time for me, and I started drinking alcohol (I got a late start on it). Little did I know where that would lead. While driving home from work one day, I suddenly—truly “out of the blue”—felt a “desire” to turn into this church parking lot and get some information. I had no clue what the church was; it just happened to be on my way to and from work, and I had driven by it hundreds of times without even noticing it.[1] Even looking back on this incident now, there is no way to describe what happened other than to say it was simply a “Hey, let’s turn in there” notion that came suddenly and without any prior warning. I certainly don’t take any credit for it.
After getting some information, I decided to attend church there a few times and “just see what it’s about.” I also thought, Who knows, maybe I’ll meet a nice church girl. I came to understand and realize that there is a God—and I also came to believe in Christ. It was at this time that I found biblical explanations for difficult scientific topics that had caused me to stay far away from religion until then. After all, I was a scientist needing facts and proof, and all this “God stuff” was just made-up nonsense, or so I had thought.[2]
I got a Bible, but I didn’t read it much except for a few Bible studies here and there that I went to occasionally. I do remember beginning to notice Scripture starting to reveal itself to me (I now know that was by the Spirit), but I didn’t follow through or keep at it—not at all. I was also baptized at the church, but it turns out (in looking back at this time) that I never really turned my life over to the Lord!
In fact, it was after this point that I started working more than ever. I got remarried and carried on with life as usual, as if nothing had happened—as if nothing had changed. I ended up working more than fifteen hours a day, seven days a week, for over ten years straight. I didn’t realize it then, but I had also become an alcoholic. It wasn’t a problem at that time, and of course, we are always the last to realize that fact anyway. No one told me either, until many years later, but even if they had, I wouldn’t have believed or listened to them.
Then came a move to a different city, and finally, the addiction took over. Things went downhill quickly from that point. I sunk pretty low with depression, anxiety, and another divorce. Luckily, I never even once touched hard drugs, or it probably would have been all over for me. Alcohol is more insidious, sneaky, and silent, but it is nonetheless just as dangerous, destructive, and deadly in its end result.
So even though I had accepted Christ, I was almost immediately (within a year or so) prodigal, apostate, and backsliding for about thirteen years. I was also trapped in an addiction that I didn’t realize I had (at first). This was because I just continued living life as I had always lived it—for another fifteen years, actually! I drifted away from going to church, stopped reading the Bible, and stopped thinking about God, Jesus, or anything related to it all. I just focused on work, work, work, and earning money. Finally, things climaxed as I hit bottom.
I want to point out that though they don’t realize it, those who are unsaved and also caught in an addiction are actually doubly lost! First, they are lost to the addiction, and secondly, they are lost to God and eternal life. Even if you somehow manage to get out of the addiction by yourself (or the help of others, such as a twelve–step program), you will still “come short of” eternal life (Heb 4:1). But Christ solves both—He will save you from the addiction, and He will also restore you to eternal life at the same time! How amazing is that!
Please note that I had, in fact, accepted Christ at one time in my life as I indicated, but I then went apostate. Yes, I had departed or “fallen away” from the faith. It is possible to fall away! The “once saved, always saved (OSAS)” teaching you commonly hear taught and preached is completely false (as I’ve shown you in this book). I had been born again at one time as best I knew how. However, by not growing and maturing in my faith, by returning to my old ways of pursuing the things of this world, and through sheer neglect of seeking Christ daily, I fell away. I know now that I was what the Bible calls “thorny soil” (paraphrase; Mat 13:7, 22; Mar 4:7, 18; Luk 8:7, 14), allowing the cares of this world to choke Jesus out of my life. I also now know that I fell away in large part due to not reading and really studying (desiring) the Word of God every single day. I now hope to be fertile soil, producing a crop “a hundredfold” for the Lord (Mat 13:8).
If you are not living and working your Christian faith and reading the Word of God every single day, you are placing yourself in great danger of falling away from Christ and back toward sin and the world. Do not underestimate the attraction and pull this world exerts on you even after you are born again, for this mistake can be eternally deadly! This is why I have advised you repeatedly in this book to read the Bible every single day (Act 17:11), because when you are born again, your new spirit actually feeds on the Word of God, just as your body feeds on food. If you are not feeding your new spirit with the Word, you are literally starving it—as it is written: “Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God” (Mat 4:4; cf. Psa 1:2).
It is only by and through God’s unimaginable lovingkindness (love), patience, slowness to anger, and awesome mercy that I am even here today and able to write this book to try to help you. I really should be dead by now, but Christ drew me back to Him again! Yes, He called out to me again, and it was crystal clear! Imagine that! He chased after me in an attempt to draw me back (Joh 12:32; Heb 7:25; 10:22; Jas 4:8; cf. Luke 19:10; Php 3:12; 1Jn 4:10; Isa 30:18; Lam 3:22–23; Jer 29:11), “rescue me” (see Col 1:13; cf. 2Ti 4:17), and “call me out of darkness into His marvelous light” (see 1Pe 2:9), and I am forever thankful and grateful to Him for doing so. For I was indeed one of the “lost sheep” that had gone astray (see Luk 15:4–6); I had left the fold, and He came after me to find me again. I need to emphasize that I can’t take credit for any of this, as I didn’t reach out to Him at all. It was Jesus who came after me (again)! I still don’t fully understand it. I had completely discarded Him even after being born again, as the world and addiction slowly dragged me back into its net of destruction. That’s how the world, Satan, and addictions work. Again, I say, beware!
I’ve examined myself hard to see if I was really and truly born again at that prior time (fifteen years ago), and I have to say yes. At that time in my life, I believed in and confessed Jesus with all my heart, mind, and soul, and I was baptized. I didn’t just pretend to confess Christ—it was completely genuine and real. My life had started to change some, but I let the world drag me back into it. Now, some will argue that I wasn’t truly born again if I kept going in my prior lifestyle, but why don’t we ask Jesus when we see Him, for only God knows a man’s heart.[3], [4]
I did learn this huge lesson, however: Unless you start to walk like a Christian (and bear fruit) and truly turn your life over to Christ as Lord every single day, the world and sin will seek you out and draw you back in and try to destroy you. It is written: “Sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you” (Gen 4:7).[5] I’ve seen this verse play out in my own life. In fact, I now see that the Holy Bible and God and His Christ are truth. Nearly everything else, including this material world and all the ways and wisdom of man, are completely corrupt, lies, and are passing away—none of them will survive the great Day of Judgment. He is the only thing that stands solid through eternity.
I can’t stress enough that it wasn’t until I finally and completely turned my life over to Christ and submitted to the will of God that things changed for me for the better—and they changed almost instantly the very day I did (yes, that very day!). The addiction was gone, never to return.[6] I had believed in God and Jesus years prior, but I had never really submitted to Him. Also, no one had taught me how to walk as a Christian. That is another reason why I’m writing this book: So I can help others avoid doing what I did and making the same mistakes I made. Perhaps I can help keep others from falling away as I had. The steps are very simple: Get on your knees at least twice daily (morning and evening), really turn your life over to and submit to God (this includes obeying Christ’s commandments), pray constantly, read the Bible, love and serve God, and love and serve others. If you do these things, Christ does the rest.
Since that one day a few years back, I’ve gone from being trapped in the throes of addiction and clutching a bottle to being sent around the world twice doing photography (hopefully to glorify the Lord in some way). I’ve gone from bondage to sin, Satan, and death to the hope of eternal life in Christ. And the key is staying close to Jesus and seeking Him each day, no matter what! —RJA
[1] It was the Scottsdale Bible Church. I have since moved into the Church of Christ, as I realized that it is the true church founded by Jesus. See the chapter “Finding a Church.”
[2] See the chapter “Science versus the Bible” in our book The Gospel of the Grace of God.
[3] As I have mentioned earlier, I have since been baptized in a true Church of Christ, having come into a full knowledge of the true and correct Gospel, free from the many false teachings of man (Joh 4:23–24; Jud 1:3). See the “Important Note on Baptism” in the chapter “The New Testament Plan of Salvation.”
[4] Additionally, as a result of going through all of this, I now see and can explain the importance of changing one’s lifestyle to match Biblical instructions and behaviors as one also becomes obedient to the commandments of Christ (and the instructions of His apostles). See the chapter “Changing Your Worldly Habits” in our book The Gospel of the Grace of God as well as our book The Commandments of Christ.
[5] Note that sin here also includes addiction. See also our book Jesus > Addiction.
[6] Don’t get me wrong here. It still took (and continues to take) strength of character, personal discipline, moderation, and self-control on my part, but my desire to drink completely vanished.
